I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
