also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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