pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
