Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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