New invention idea: vibrating tampons
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
