Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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