Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
