At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
