is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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