I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
