Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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