I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
