There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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