He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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