You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
