so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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