I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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