first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
