I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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