I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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