I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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