Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
