Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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