Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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