dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
