Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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