I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
tell me about the fingering
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