Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
