VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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