So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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