I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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