I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
