I'm so fucking centered right now
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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