He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
