I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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