so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
