We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
