Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
