Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dear god my vagina.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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