The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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