I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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