how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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