dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize