Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
