think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
