The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
