are you so shy because you have an std?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
