I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
