the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
