Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Come on in and take your pants off
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