I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
