Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
