Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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