youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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