Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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