We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
