I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
