it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
