I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
