Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
