I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There's always time for handjobs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
