who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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