i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
