Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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