I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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