Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
