a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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