I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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