when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
