i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
