He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
