Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
