Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
