He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
