With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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