my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
