How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
