sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
