i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
