with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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