But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
