Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i am craving dick and cupcakes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize