you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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