Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
