Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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